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copyright
love it, hate it
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Thursday, July 07, 2005 I GIVE UP!!!!!!
IM PISSED!!!!
IM STRESSED OUT!!!!!!! and u noe the best part, i dunt noe y.at least i cant explain it.my heart noes the reason but my mind does not.huh.i dunno wad i'm saying la.and i borrowed this book called hearts and crosses. and there is a paragraph in it that means so much to me.as in, tt's how i feel.it goes like this.
my heart was being tightly constricted by icy cold glass.it was so fragile tt even the slightest movement would cause pain. I felt at any moment the glass would break and that the broken splinters would piearce my heart, and each heart beat would be excruciatingly painful.it might be better if it stopped beating altogether. tt's it.meaning ful to me.tt's how i feel.it hurts so bad.im trying my best to cover it up.wonder if its working.now wad is left of me, is wad i pretend to be.so together but so broken up inside..tts true too..song lyrics and books are my main friends now.oh, apart from my harvey tt is.tt's a bear if u din noe.haa.ya, and of coz everyone hu has been so caring in school too.im suffering form depression.muz be.no other explanation.
so anywae, its thursday already.and its 7.05.im sick and tired of life.im sick and tired of seeing tt look on his face everytime is eyes meet mine.when will the ice break?.crap. ya so,im also sick and tired of playing peek a boo wid my phone coz its two days since i got a single sms from anybody!...excpet emilla.shez not been in school. and 2mr was officially the first night.the very first night in my memory tt i din tok to anyone the whole entire night.it was record breaking.heartbreaking too.shhesh.YA ,SO...today...ahem...chem was fun...pe was cool. coz we were free...add maths went pass very fast.recess ut a smile to my face wen i was ard ppl i love. my dear s.h.m.d.s. plus,chayana sandhya and glorie.hehe...then mt.ok la.mdm farida has some serious prob man.muz be pms.then was eng test.crap. hope i do okayy at least la. then was lit.fun.coz we din do much work tt we were suposed to.ryan missed is geog and he was toking to us.tt put a smile on my face too.haha.i was laughing so much.he sang the NCC song for me agn...i like tt song.hehehe...im an NCC...of the land ,sea and air...or some thing like tt...tt was fun.i was laughing alot.then was pissing offing agn.i hate looking at him and yet i want to look at him.im at a crossroads..wad do i do?..and then mar,has,xuan and sher left.then.me,chayana,glor,suhailah and sandhya were sitting and toking crap.then joey appeared and sang for us.it was so funny.i cldn help but laugh.then dimas came.so funny la he.my god ah.hehehehe...then me and suhailah took the bus home.toked and all.then i went to pick shakti up from his abacus class or robotics class or sth...dunno wad oso...and he was toking non stop abt his whole school life stiry.my god ah. so boring.but im the good elder sis hu pays attention.i was attentive k.and i agev good feedback.im so proud of him for getting top in class for maths.tt's sth i will never be.altho he's primary two...well, tt's besides the point.k..ya, then maria called me.tt put a smile on my face too...thx maria!...ya, my sis wants the com now.n im the good elder sis and i will give it to her widout fighting.im off to read my book, hearts and crosses...k then...buhbye!
how can i live without u? how can i breathe widout u?...come back!!!!
wishlist
12 points or less me and my mum to be best frens
long lasting happiness.
prom to go smoothly choir camp prelims to be over
do well for e-maths
find my mr.right
